Dean Vaughan

How to Change Your Oil

April 15, 2008 – 10:00 pm

Also known as Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Items Needed:

• 2 Quarts Oil
• 1 Oil Filter
• Socket wrench with appropriate socket
• Torque Wrench
• Paper Towels
• Alan wrench
• Oil Pan
• Funnel

Steps Needed:

1. Wait five months and 2000 miles.
2. Buy oil and a filter
3. Wait another month.
4. Make plans to do it Saturday.
5. Make plans to do it Sunday.
6. Make plans to do it Monday.
7. Make plans to do it Tuesday.
8. Change into your gym clothes that smell funny no matter how you wash them.
9. Hunt for the wierd ass alan bit that you need to remove the fairing.
10. Spend fifteen minutes trying to remove the fairing. The bolts will come off in thirty seconds, but the plastic tab is a bitch.
11. Drain the oil.
12. Remove the filter.
13. Install new filter.
14. Hunt for the torque spec on the oil bolt.
15. Give up and torque down to your best guess.
16. Fill with oil.
17. Wipe off all of the oil that dripped onto the manifold because the oil filter is directly above it.
18. Start bike, let it warm up.
19. If you don't get the oil level right on the first try, you suck.
20. Attach the fairing, points if you have all of the bolts from step 9 within reach.
21. Use paper towels to clean up the thirty random oil spots on your garage floor.
22. Dump oil pan in neighbor's yard.
23. All done.